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Feeling Lost

• Posted by Evelyn Rojas October 21, 2018 - 999 views
  Today is a not good day. Bipolar II Depression is no joke and lately it's taking over. I'm forcing myself to be social when the opportunities present themselves, which aren't often.
  
  I know part of the issue is that I'm in the wrong place. I'm living in the wrong state away from where I'm happiest. But I'm stuck here for around another year until I get some personal business sorted out. I'll be spending the summer in NY (where I will eventually be moving), but looking forward to that seems to make each moment here even more unbearable.
  
  I'm trying to sing, which is at least something I love to do, but the moment I stop, the depression says, "Okay, now...back to me." Even watching funny, lighthearted entertainment only helps momentarily. Clearly the medication isn't helping. My only saving Grace is my belief in God and that He put me here for a reason, or I would have taken matters into my own hands long ago. That and medicinal herbs.
  
  Of course, in this mood, I can't get to starting on what I believe I'm supposed to be doing because I'm not at peace.
  
  There are times in life where we can't control anything. We just have to accept what is going on around us. At those times, we just have to hang on. For dear life.